1. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
2. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
3. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
4. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
5. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
6. Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.
7. If a tornado hits your home and causes $10,000 dollars worth of improvement.
8. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all, watch this."
9. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia boss.
10. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.