ALABAMA HELL YES, WE HAVE ELECTRICITY
ALASKA 11,623 ESKIMOS CAN'T BE WRONG!
ARIZONA BUT IT'S A DRY HEAT
ARKANSAS LITERACY AIN'T EVERYTHING
CALIFORNIA BY THE AGE OF 30, OUR WOMEN HAVE MORE PLASTIC THAN YOUR HONDA
COLORADO IF YOU DON'T SKI, DON'T BOTHER
CONNECTICUT LIKE MASSACHUSETTS, ONLY THE KENNEDY'S DON'T OWN IT YET
DELAWARE WE REALLY DO LIKE THE CHEMICALS IN OUR WATER
FLORIDA ASK US ABOUT OUR GRANDKIDS
HAWAII HAKA TIKI MOU SHA'AMI LEEKI TORU
(DEATH TO MAINLAND SCUM. LEAVE YOUR MONEY.)
IDAHO MORE THAN JUST POTATOES...
WELL, OKAY, WE'RE NOT. 
BUT THE POTATOES SURE ARE REAL GOOD
ILLINOIS PLEASE, DON'T PRONOUNCE THE "S"
INDIANA 2 BILLION YEARS TIDAL WAVE FREE
IOWA WE DO AMAZING THINGS WITH CORN
KANSAS FIRST OF THE RECTANGLE STATES
KENTUCKY FIVE MILLION PEOPLE--FIFTEEN LAST NAMES
LOUISIANA WE'RE NOT ALL DRUNK CAJUN WACKOS
BUT THAT'S OUR TOURISM CAMPAIGN
MAINE WE'RE REALLY COLD, BUT WE HAVE CHEAP LOBSTERS
MARYLAND IF YOU CAN DREAM IT, WE CAN TAX IT
MASSACHUSETTS OUR TAXES ARE LOWER THAN SWEDEN'S
MICHIGAN FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE FROM THE CANADIANS
MINNESOTA 10,000 LAKES...AND 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 MOSQUITOES
MISSOURI YOUR FEDERAL FLOOD RELIEF TAX DOLLARS AT WORK
MONTANA LAND OF THE BIG SKY, THE UNABOMBER, RIGHT-WING CRAZIES AND VERY LITTLE ELSE
NEBRASKA ASK ABOUT OUR STATE MOTTO CONTEST
NEVADA HOOKERS AND POKER!
NEW HAMPSHIRE GO AWAY AND LEAVE US ALONE
NEW JERSEY YOU WANT A #*!##*! MOTTO?
i GOT YOUR #8**!!! MOTTO RIGHT HERE!
NEW MEXICO LIZARDS MAKE EXCELLENT PETS
NEW YORK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT;
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO AN ATTORNEY
NORTH CAROLINA TOBACCO IS A VEGETABLE
NORTH DAKOTA WE REALLY ARE ONE OF THE 50 STATES!
OHIO AT LEAST WE'RE NOT MICHIGAN
OKLAHOMA LIKE THE PLAY...BUT NO SINGING
OREGON SPOTTED OWL..IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER
PENNSYLVANIA COOK WITH COAL
RHODE ISLAND WE'RE NOT REALLY AN ISLAND
SOUTH CAROLINA REMEMBER THE CIVIL WAR?
WELL, WE DIDN'T ACTUALLY SURRENDER YET!
SOUTH DAKOTA CLOSER THAN NORTH DAKOTA
TENNESSEE THE EDYOOCASHUN STATE
TEXAS SE HABLO INGLES
UTAH OUR JESUS IS BETTER THAN YOUR JESUS
VERMONT AY, YEP
VIRGINIA WHO SAYS GOVERNMENT STIFFS AND SLACKJAW YOKELS DON'T MIX?
WASHINGTON WE HAVE MORE RAIN THAN YOU DO
WEST VIRGINIA ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY...REALLY!
WISCONSIN COME CUT THE CHEESE!
WYOMING WHERE MEN ARE MEN...AND THE SHEEP ARE SCARED