Q.) What doesn't belong in this  list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob? 
A.) Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife,but you can't beat a blowjob. 

Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in  the end? 
A.) So men can be open minded. 

Q.) What's the maximum speed limit of sex? 
A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around. 

Q.) What do a Rubix cube and a  penis have in common? 
A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get. 

Q.) What's the difference between  your paycheck and your dick? 
A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck! 

Q.) Three words to ruin a man's  ego... 
A.) "Is it in?" 

Q.) What do you get when you cross  Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A.) A red headed bitch with a yeast infection. 

Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex? 
A.) One of his fingers is clean. 

Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers? 
A) Melt them down  make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. 

Q.) What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common? 
A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.