MOTHERS' DICTIONARY
AMNESIA Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.
DUMBWAITER One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. 
FAMILY PLANNING The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
FEEDBACK The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. 
FULL NAME What you call your child when you're mad at him. 
GRANDPARENTS The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. 
HEARSAY What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. 
IMPREGNABLE A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid. 
INDEPENDENT How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say. 
OW The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
PUDDLE A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. 
SHOW OFF A child who is more talented than yours. 
STERILIZE What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it. 
TOP BUNK Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas. 
TWO MINUTE WARNING When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
VERBAL Able to whine in words. 
WHODUNIT None of the kids that live in your house.