DEGREES OF BLONDNESS

1st Degree

A married couple was asleep when the telephone rang at two in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up  the telephone, listened a moment, and said,  "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
The husband said, "Who was that?"
The wife said, "I don't know; some woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."

2nd Degree

Two blondes are walking down  the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror, and says,  "Hmm, this person looks  familiar." She hands it to the second blonde.
The second blonde looks in  the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's  me!"

3rd Degree

A blonde suspects her  boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door, she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome  with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, Honey, don't do it."
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
 

4th Degree

A blonde brags about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead;  ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK,  what's the capital of  Wisconsin?"
The blonde replies, "Oh  that's easy, W."

5th Degree

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was  pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
 

6th Degree

A blonde had just totaled  her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from  the wreckage without a scratch.  "Wow!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like  an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this  happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this tree
popped up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and  there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was another tree! I  swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there  was...."
"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off as he looked inside the car,
"There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
 

7th Degree

Returning home from work, a blonde was astonished to see that she had been robbed. She telephoned the police at once and reported  the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9  officer approached the house with his dog on a  leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at
the sight of the cop and his dog, and then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do  they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"