486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art: Any computer you cannot afford.
Obsolete:  Any computer you own.
Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G3: Apple's new Macs that make you say, "Gee, it's three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a microsecond ago." 
Syntax Error:  Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."
Hard Drive:  The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error.
GUI (pronounced "gooey"): What your computer becomes after spilling your Coke on it.
Keyboard:  The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse:  An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy:  The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer:  A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
Disk Crash:  A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
System Update: A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.