CAFFINE IS MY SHEPHERD
I SHALL NOT DOZE.

IT MAKETH ME TO WAKE IN GREEN PASTURES;
IT LEADETH ME BEYOND THE SLEEPING MASSES.
IT RESTORETH MY BUZZ.

IT LEADETH ME IN THE PATHS OF CONSCIOUSNESS FOR ITS NAME'S SAKE.
YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF ADDICTION,
I WILL FEAR NO EQUAL--
FOR THOU ART WITH ME.
THY CREAM AND THY SUGAR THEY COMFORT ME.

THOU PREPAREST A CARAFE BEFORE ME IN THE PRESENCE OF JUAN VALDEZ.
]THOU ANOINTEST MY DAY WITH PEP; 
MY MUG RUNNETH OVER.

SURELY RICHNESS AND TASTE SHALL FOLLOW ME ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE;
AND I WILL DWELL IN THE HOUSE OF FOLGER FOREVER.

AMEN.